Scene: Vic just woke up to a giant ass coming at him, pinning him to his chair. Paulo is the huge sumo-wanna be sitting on him, but he is being addressed by the drug lord Gato, who has a "favor" he needs from Vic.(Taken from the 0.99 novel Murder Creek available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble)
“What favor you ask? The favor of not telling your enemies where I found ya, ese, I figure—ya owe me for that, and I’m thinkin’ ya don’t wanna be telling me no about now.”
Gato’s grin practically slithered across his face. “Ain’t that right, Paulo?”
Paulo looked over a mountainous shoulder at him. “I had eight cheeseburgers and three orders of chili cheese fries.”
Vic struggled harder.
16 comments:
Smelly Six, Allure.
Happy Sunday,
Kristin Wolfgang
Interesting six. As Kea said, smelly! Thank you.
Well I definitely got a great visual from this six. Nice work, Allure.
interesting six in a good way lol
All I can think of is Burp! So much food. But, Allure, you paint a good picture and that's what writing is all about.
realistic dialogue and yeah - clogs up the nose too - great writing
Fun six. You have a great voice!
Wow! That guy's gotta have a serious case of heartburn! Intriguing six, Allure! :)t
Lol! Very nice work!
Love the dialogue, and...yeah... wouldn't want to be in that position! LOL LOVE IT!
Great dialogue and voice here. :)
Oh dear, he probably shouldn't waste his strength struggling. This is a great story.
Ew, but effectively conveyed. *grin*
~Xakara
A Way To A Dragon's Heart 6SS
I'm thinking he doesn't want to say no either. Nice six!
His grin "practically slithered across his face." Wonderful visual. And the recitation of the menu is priceless! Great six!
Wouldn't want to even be upwind of the sumo or in the next county for that matter.
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